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fantasy football

cradle quotes

who am i? where am i? what am i doing?

mike saul, who is me, created this to fill time. he is 24. He can be found in Chicago, where I am. What am I doing? I'm not quite sure.

wasting time
cigarettes and isotopes
distances meet
i woke up in a strange place
last bus anywhere
the morning news
neil gaiman
nfl picks
robot frank
run ricky run
same day different rat
steel blossom
thinking about hesterman
trompe le monde

calvin and hobbes
diesel sweeties
exploding dog
fox trot
my new fighting technique is unstoppable
penny arcade
pixel pals
red meat

bbc news
bob and david
chalet chalet
comic reviews
comics continuum
early warning
eatonweb portal
the onion
skinny guy
what jail is like

new websites
cartoon theme songs

5 Reasons
To Keep Doing What I'm Doing
1. Peace of Mind
2. A little game
3. how much could you take?
4. advice given months ago.
5. avoid distractions leading to flying!

created by me in 2001
My place is falling apart. Okay, thatís an exaggeration. What is really happening is that my landlord is crazy and wonít fix simple things. For example, paying the water bill. Luckily that was taken care of so that we donít have to worry about me waking up and attempting to shower but finding no water. Therefore Iím forced to bathe outside using the hose of the next door neighbor even though he doesnít have a hose. Which would mean I would have to purchase a hose, find a spigot, run the water on me, and bathe. During this time I would be naked of course (even purchasing the hose?Öyes.). So our landlord is crazy because she told us not to pay rent until she fixes everything (ie Ė broken windows, lights that leave you in darkness, missing mantle which was stolen from our place before we moved into, front door lock in the way it doesnít keep people out). This place just became affordable because I have heard it through the grapevine that she just doesnít want to deal with anything. I mean, some other tenents have lived at a place for a year but only have paid six months of rent, and she still wonít kick them out! Nice, so letís sit back and enjoy the jets of the jacuzzi.

Donít you love those days where you end up spending the entire day outside of your apartment without planning on spending the entire day outside of your apartment?

Girls are taking me shopping later this morning. I will become ďflyĒ!

No, not real flight. Trust me, there would be maybe 15-20 pages about me actually flying. Come on peopleÖchildhood dream right here. Iíll let you people know when I finally take air. Iíll even take you all up for a ride.

Donít you hate those days where nothing feels right. The ice cream you have just doesnít taste as good, the sky looks funky, your legs are jelly, and you bowl two of your worst games in three months. Rats.

My mind has been preoccupied too. I hate these moods I get into. Itís like something large is looming off in the distance, and I might have a clue to what it is but I keep ignoring it. Maybe more sleep will fix itÖforget that itís too late this evening to catch up.

REAL NEW COMIC DAY! I understand just a few days ago I bragged about my new comics, but shit I have a butt load to read now. Itís fun because there are a load of comics I really enjoy and I canít wait to get to them, but itís time to cut the fat out what Iíve been collecting. So sorry, but some old time favorites will have to say good night. Itís okay, Iíll bounce back. Sometimes those tough decisions have to be made. If you havenít bought the Ultimate Spider-man trade paperbacks then you need to get off your butt. Kids will enjoy it, you will enjoy it, hell, Iíll enjoy you getting it and then talking to me about it. Come on boys and girls, letís get your acts together.

Other fun news - PAC-MAN! Have fun at work!

There are way too many cute kids out tonightÖyou know for Halloween! Like the kid dressed as Eeyore or Blue Clues. We only had two trick-or-treaters. I asked what they were and the girlís response was, ďDaddy, what am I again?Ē ďYouíre a hippie.Ē Said the father. Too Cute.

I joined a fantasy hockey and basketball league. Any pointers to be offered would be grand since my knowledge on those sports barely exists.

Oh, and the fantasy page has been updated. I'm sitting on the powerful 2nd place, just taken off of 1st. See, exciting...I thought so.

Thanks for checking back here you loyal readers! A treat for all of youÖan update!

So on a lucky Thursday morning heading out the door I spy an orange notice taped on our front door to our apartment building. The city of Chicago was so kind to warn us that our water might be shut off in the upcoming week because it hasnít been paid to a nice grand total of $670, oh and 56 cents. This is just one of the many many issues arising from the Grand Move of 2002.

Most people may not realize but I have no style points. None what so ever. The two girls I currently live with are slowly learning this factor. All I need is some place to sit so I can watch the television and play my video games. Iíll help out when needed, but really thatís all Iím asking for. What colors around me do not really matter, but I better be able to play my Golden Eye gosh darn it.

A friend of mine mentioned that the Bears have been losing ever since I went to see them live (and the first line of this page from over a month ago laments the debacle of a Bears game). So, hereís to more victories because of an update. A toast to future victories.

For the past two months every time I proceed to the washroom to cleanse my hands of what ever might have been festering there for the past few hours I am able to squirt the soap right between my fingers. No matter how tight I clench them together the soap slips through laughing at meÖme and my dirty fingers.

Currently Iím debating on being Waldo (from Whereís Waldo fame) for Halloween. Anyone have a red and white stripe t-shirt?

My new apartment has a porch right outside my bedroom. I have spent many a evenings sitting out there getting my shit together. Getting your shit together is quite fun when you have a cup of hot chocolate to go with it.

New Comic DayÖabout two weeks ago! There really wasnít too much Iíve been excited about lately. Ultimate Spider-man (as well as all the other Spider-man titles) entertains me. Powers, a police detective comic book set in a superhero world, is phenomenal. I still think Grant Morrison makes all characters an asshole. I mean he even made Beast from the X-men a jerk. Maybe I just donít like his style.

Whew. That should have kept you busy for a while. Good to talk to you again. Hope you get home safely. Be sure to look both ways. And donít talk to people named Lawrence for the day. Just trust me on this one.

After much debate, which consisted of me falling asleep on the couch, I decided to take the day off from work. Now if that pesky little headache would just leave I would be able to accomplish a lot more.

Well, the Bears lost. Not the best way to celebrate my first live Bears game, which is kind of rude if you think about it. But some funny things occurred there (happens when you put thousands of drunk people in a small compacted area). First there were a two Green Bay Packer fans there. No problems with them, but as they were leaving and entering the exit, one Bears fan leaned over the rail to the exit shouting something, but due to large amounts of alcohol he leaned just a bit too much. Center of balance outside of the zone = falls over rail. The manís head slams against the wall and the ground. He lays there for a few seconds, stands up and shouts. I just kept calling the Saints undisciplined mother fuckers.

I apologize to all the children sitting near me.

Iím off to Champaign to see my first ever Chicago Bears game! Iíll be the guy in the bears t-shirt, if your looking for me, that is if I can find one being sold for less than $30.

Man do I have plans of eating this weekend.

Really that is all I have planned for the entire weekend, eating. I have to stop at all my favorite places, spend too much money, eat too much food, and I donít even want to think about how much drinking is going to on. Hell, Iím not even sure where Iíll be sleeping every night. Mainly it sounds like a rocking kind of weekend.

While I was walking tonight I heard the song of ping pong balls. Smiles are on me.

My dreams betrayed me last night.

My roommate moved out last weekend. I have taken complete control over my apartment now. A small step to taking over the world, but still a step. I am getting my shit together.

Signing of the lease occurred this past weekend. Iím locked in. No getting out. At least Iíll be able to relax in my Jacuzzi.

I passed on seeing Bright Eyes this past weekend. With my crazy moods I donít think listening to a guy talk about how is heart was broken and that things will never be better would help me too much. Instead I joined a couple of friends doing the Samba at the Hot House in downtown Chicago. For those who may not know me, dancing is a weak point in the essence of Mike Saul. But for some reasons (could it have been the drinks?Ö) there I was dancing up a storm. When the guy asked me to shake my bootie, my bootie shook (in his words, ďIf you have a booty what else is there to do besides shake it. So shake your bootie). He did ask to shake the boobies too, I passed on it. But yet another Friday night I end up in a drunken stupor.

My new roomies saw me on these last two Friday nights and Iíve been wasted. So there are only two scenarios, they think Iím a lush who goes out and gets trashed every night, or in reality I am a lush drinking to hide the painÖoh crap.

Holy shit I have a place to live come next month! Yippie yow zee!

Last Sunday was powerful. Powerful enough for a friend to cause his ankle to swell to the size of my head, and then to spend 3 hours at the emergency room over weekend sport players. Man, someday one of us will get a serious injury. No complaints here though. He spent about 3 hours with me after I dislocated my shoulder.

Sunday was also powerful during the Bears game. It was a bonus that they won (and after the won somebody lifted me over their head while I was giving people high fives), but it was more powerful over the amount of food that was consumed. 72 deviled eggs, and they were all gone. Special meats and cheese. I mean, we didnít even cook the tatter tots. Next week my good friendÖnext week.

It was a tough weekend. I hope Iím all right with it.

The fantasy page has been updated. A powerful performance by myself, but it will surely end soon. I mean, I canít actually win something, can I?Önah, I didnít think so. Another thing. Everyone should check out McSweenyís Football Predictions, even if your not a football fan. Funny shit there.

Well, bowling is done. First of all, Iím not sure what has occurred to my bowling skills. But since week 2 (so pathetic I know) I sucked. I didnít wake up until week 10, and that was only for part of the time. My average dropped dramatically, there was no face of domination there at all. But I heard there is going to be a free party next week with an open bar, which mainly means Wednesday at work will be hung over day at work!

Iíll be in town this weekend. I know most of you have been worried. Two weekends in a row I was out of state. Could he be planning something? I am, but we must keep it hush hush right now.

Today was a tough day. Brain on over drive, and played out way too many scenerios. And I still donít know where Iím going to live! Oh crap. I could be living with girls again. I thought I swore off that for a couple of years.

I now have a goal. My life has been about just getting by, but after leaving this weekend to travel up to Sauk county in Wisconsin to relax on some land up in the middle of no where I have created something Iím actually shooting for, a reason to plug away 40 hours a day and create some sort of savings. Iím going to purchase some land up in either Minnesota or Wisconsin where there are very few people and put a very fine mobile home up there. When life just gets annoying or I just need a weekend away Iíll head up there, empty my mind for a few days and be ready for more. God it was so quiet. I heard coyotes howlingÖI donít hear coyotes howling in the city. Of course hearing coyotes howl in the city would be quite scary due to the fact the coyote could be on my deck drinking my beer. Fucking drunk coyotes. Yet another reason to get away every once in a while.

The amount of food consumed this weekend is astounding. Iím a small guy, yet there was no chance of my denying the breakfast buffet. Now I understand why Wisconsin is the most obese state in the USA.

I'm terrible at bowling. I think that sums it up.

Welcome back Illinois. How was your vacation?

Omaha was fun, and now back to the grind.

One thing about Omaha, it needs to settle. The amount of Husker fans out there scare me. Let me explain. Husker is the mascot for the Nebraska college football team. I donít really follow college football, but the entire state of Nebraska follows the Nebraska team. Well, at least anyone born in that state does. I swear the town shut down when the game came on. Females (I only know about 3 girls here in Illinois and the rest of the nation that actually want to watch the NFL) were screaming and chanting crazy things while the game was on. I was warned once that I could get beat up if I kept calling the Huskers ďHuskiesĒ. It appears to be a split down the middle, for people who love their precious Huskers, and those that have moved to Nebraska and despise everything they hold dear. I would say it took me the better part of two hours till I started to hate the Nebraska team.

From a football stat perspective, Nebraskaís QB threw for 33 yards, but ran for close to 109 yards. And his name is Lord. Screw you Lord.

On Sat. night the last bar I hit was called Harolds. From what I was able to tell it is quite a depressing bar (they were watching some Western when we walked in and only about 5 people were in the bar), but it does have a shuffle board. A previous time my friend Scott was at the bar, the bartender (who I believe is Harold) told him he hoped he died in a car crash on the way home. A little strange to say the least. But I must say that we were offered a free shot at closing time. We got there too late though. No shuffle board for me.

On to more important matters, my ever pursuit of flight. For the hour plane ride to Omaha and back I spent observing the many small nuances of flying (when I wasnít acting like a little boy in a candy store staring out my window awed by the sheer idea of flying in a plane). I was unable to actually take flight on my own this past weekend, but I felt I made a lot of progress. It could have been the higher altitude though. Because, you know, Omaha is so much higher than ChicagoÖ

Big accomplishment today (no dishes and no food shopping) was the haircut. I went back to the large Ukrainian man. During my second visit I noticed a lot of little things about the place. Iím starting to believe that the shop may actually be a front for some form of mob business. My eyes may have betrayed me, but Iím pretty sure I say a fifty dollar bill grease some palms. They always looked shocked when I enter the store, and then Iím asked, ďBusiness?Ē My response is, ďHaircut.Ē But the cut is cheap and simple. Plus the large Ukrainian man uses a sharp ass razor (to frighten me so that I donít talk?Ö) around my neck as when heís all done cutting my hairs.

Thanks for tuning back in. This weekend will be the first time I venture inside of an airplane to travel out to Omaha. Some of you may be asking, ďOmaha, what the hell are you going to do there?Ē I assume it will consist of me getting drunk, but who knows. Iíll be sure to jot some notes down while on the plane for some pointers in my never-ending pursuit in learning how to fly by myself. So enjoy the weekend folks.

My fingers smell like bowling balls even after two washes. Crap.

My roommate broke up with me. It was a mutual separation. I get the place; he can keep the kids. The DVDs mine, the dead bodies in the closet are his. See simple. He has decided to live else where for school leaving me searching for a place that I can afford or live with another roommate and risk my heart getting broken again.

It wasnít a real relationship people. We were just roommates. Geez. I donít even have kids (at least none that I know of).

In all seriousness I am looking for a place and maybe even a new roommate. Any takers? I can make a fantabulous frozen pizza!

While looking for places to live on my own I figured that I would need to increase my income by letís say mucho pesos or I would be left with some change and belly button lint as an entertainment fund. I would prefer not have to go through trying to trade alcohol for some belly button lint. So in my last few days of soul searching (trying not to focus on any asshole antics Iíve performed in the past month and a half) I think I may have figured out a job for myself. And letís just say there will be mucho pesos if I can actually achieve this. Maybe even more belly button lint! More on it if it actually takes form.

This past weekend my friends and I performed a live in person draft for our fantasy teams. It was a powerful day of eating taco dip, humus, and pizza. People all around were happy. Especially since I drafted a powerful team that will dominate everyone who is anyone! Trust me, this is the Face of Domination!

Major plans for the weekend. Stay tuned!

All my thoughts are Rentonís (minus the heroin which is pretty much all his thoughts) at the club this evening.

Anyone who is anyone should show up at Club Foot on Thursday next week (Aug. 22nd) in Chicago. Well, maybe not anyone because crazy people who eat my eyes are not welcome, but everyone else should show up to listen to a friend of mine DJ. Who is up for it? I am! I am!

All I can say (if you ignore any comment stated before this) is that I have a half day tomorrow at work. Thank the lord. Way too much beer tonight.

Number of days without seeing roommate...5. Hope he's okay.

So Cute! Today on the bus home a 20 something woman let an older woman, letís say 60s or 70s, sit in her seat on the bus. When the older woman sat down she patted her knees asking the younger woman to sit on her lap. The younger woman gracefully declined. I smiled.

Let us bowl together to span timeÖ

Iím fluctuating right now. Excuse the confusion. It will right itself in a few, oh letís say months, maybe years.

Craft Day at work!
Boredom levels were rising at work so I decided to create a few magnets. First magnet created Ė URLACHER!

While I was weaving in and out of the strollers heading towards my escape from work some older lady lowered her shoulder and rammed into me forcing me to spin around. Crazy old ladies. Watch out for them. They will be the first ones to get you!

Twice this week the sky looked like freedom.

36 hours is all it take for me to bounce back.

here we go again

The Things

because everyone needs a hug every once in a while.