Alan Greenspan

In his position as chairman of the Federal Reserve, Alan Greenspan wields considerable influence over the course of American finance, or so it would appear; his ability to raise or lower interest rates, for example, affects purchasing trends across the nation. However, some critics (like Ralph Nader) charge that Greenspan is essentially a meaningless figurehead, a fiction created by the owners of capital in the United States to preserve and expand the current state of economic disparity. Does he serve good or evil? Is he a misunderstood sage whose wisdom will be reveal itself in time or is he a maleficient slave to the status quo? The true nature of Greenspan is an enigma, and that is why I like this photo: it serves as a reminder that even the greatest of enigmas have to cope with violent, painful bouts of constipation. Look at the poor guy: his pink, hairless face all wrinkly as he desperately tries to keep it together long enough to protect the public from the scourge of wage increases commensurate to economic growth before his groin explodes, spraying shit all over the Washington DC press corps. Greenspan soldiers on, forever a mystery; his true intentions - and his prayers for the sweet mercy of a bowel evacuation - are known only to him. (photo: AP)

I have this picture as the wallpaper on my computer's desktop. That's how strongly I feel about it.

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