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What Jail Is Like,
Martin Stanslavski, attorney-at-law here. I am writing to notify you that a"cease and desist" order has been issued against you by the honorable Judge Lenny Stopenheimer of the Rantoul Circuit Court. In the case of Rantoul v. What Jail Is Like, the judge, after having some law books given to him in an all picture format, found that you were in contempt of the entire city of Rantoul, and ordered that you "cut it out" (his words) promptly. Any further libelous statements from your show against the, ahem, fine town of Rantoul will be met with legal action. Thank you.
Martin Stanslavski
Dear Martin Stanslavski, Attorney-at-Law, We are aware of the "cease and desist" order here at the What Jail Is Like Compound and, really, we don't think that's why you've written us. After rigourous handwriting evaluation, we have decided that you are, in fact, one Miss Julie Suthardt of Telono, and that you are madly and deply in love with us, as all girls between the ages of 13 and 17 are. Miss Sudthardt, please write to us in your own words, and we will respond. We won't return your love and adoration, most probably we will ridicule you, but we will reply. Oh, yes, and we also know that you have a thing for Tommy Davis who's in your Math class and we know that he does like you, so you should ask him to the Sadie Hawkins dance.
Yours,
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