Are You Ready For Some Football
Why I Should Not Be A Coach On A NFL Team
who am i? where am i? what am i doing?
a small man named mike saul created this web
page to fill time. he is 23 and growing tired of things, but hope exists in his life, even if it is
only a small cup hanging from his key chain. he can be found in the burbs of chicago for right now,
but soon he will be moving in Chicago.
want to call me?
(800) 659-4444 ext 5957.
Feel free to leave a message because
it is now my voice on the voice mail.
other things i do but only rarely
thinking about hesterman
i woke up in a strange place
the morning news
same day different rat
calvin and hobbes
when I am king
what jail is like
little red monkey
to stay home today from work
1. More Sleep.
2. My soul is so small already.
3. I can only hear so many golf conversations in a week.
4. Look at outside, I don't care if it is raining.
5. Today maybe the day I can fly...I'm not going to waste it in front of a computer.
created by me in 2001
NFL2K2 is mine
I don't think I have been blinking enough.
The General Thoughts I Had In A 7 Hour Meeting Today
Someone called me a widget today. Is that better than a cog?
I won a coffee mug. I don't drink coffee.
Why is a business run like a high school geometry or vocabulary class?
After 40 minutes there was not one word mentioned that applied to what I do at work.
They fed me food. I got a Crunch bar. Lasagna. Some chicken. Strawberry Cheese Cake.
I ate it all.
While I'm at work I tend to be on the phone a lot. I have to call banks and employers to
verify that the information on the application is true. Today while I was calling an employer
I was placed on hold for a few minutes. The company, being mindful of the number of people on
hold and the amount of time one has to spend there, kindly placed a radio station to be played
during the mindless minutes placed there. The radio station that I was able to listen to
consisted of two radio hosts and a psychic talking about the placement of plants. When the
Declaration of Independence was signed, at 2:10 P.M. (I'm assuming Eastern Standard Time, but
it could be Pacific Standard Time so don't quote me.) the planet Earth was in a Cancer
stage with a rising Gemini in the background. I guess the planet Jupiter and Pluto were
opposite, and the planet Freedom (even though from my 3rd grade science class I don't
remember a planet Freedom, and didn't they figure out that Pluto isn't a planet anymore,
but actually a moon?) was in view. But last Tuesday, 9/11/01, the planet Freedom (after
listening further it sounded like maybe Pluto is freedom, but I thought it was war, but
then again I'm no expert) was blocked, and will continue to be blocked till July of 2002.
The psychic tells the listeners that we are in danger till then, but at least with Pluto
and Jupiter (now I became completely confused about the planets and figured that this
psychic just created her own planet, Freedom, and named herself the ruler, and she rules with
an iron fist planning on bringing her reign to the rest of the universe) and since we were
in Cancer with the rising Gemini we actually will create some good energy.............
The radio hosts only response was "Oh good We like good energy."
From the little political papers I have read politicians are to act in a
cool and level minded atmosphere away from the emotions and impulses of the
large masses of citizens so that the country does not screw itself over.
This was one of the thoughts those old guys from the Revolutionary War had
when they created the republic that we call The United States. They felt
that if the people were allowed to make all of the decisions chaos would
reign. And we all know how I feel about chaos. It will hurt me. (In
chaos no one respects a mighty mob boss.) I understand that 78% of the
population of the United States is wishing for war so that we can get who
is responsible, but we hold it to the elected officials to have a cool head
to think before they react. I understand that in today's politics it is
almost a hopeless dream for an elected official to speak against this war.
They may appear soft on terrorism, even though I don't know one human being
who likes terrorist actions, so hopefully if we do go to war, it is
because it is the right thing to do.
On a more personal note, the apartment that I talked about before is mine.
Well, Bill has part of it too. We will be
signing the lease sometime this week. If everything goes according to
plan, I should be moving Oct. 7th. Again, since nothing ever goes
according to plan, odds are it will be early Dec., but still the plans are
being made, people are talking, things are being shuffled through. Slowly
I come to realize I have nothing to live on my own. No toaster. No
microwave. Pretty much I have a bed, which is a bonus. So, does anyone
have any pots or pans they want to give me? Man, being poor and attempting
to get things stink.
Fantasy Football is up again this week. I came
in a whomping last place between my friends. Last time I play with my
heart. Sorry Flutie. You're going on the bench.
I'm bored. I've talked about how my job is slowly stealing my soul (only
18 more days left till I become unemployed and flounder around till I find
another job close to my new apartment). Most of the time I don't realize
it till I get home and realize I don't want to do anything besides sit on
my bed and become a mindless slob in front of the tv. Well, today I felt a
shock. It was a shock of the office violently stealing a
chunk of my soul. It actually hurts now to be here.
I've written about 3 or 4 different things in the last few days, but each time I deleted it due
to the fact that I have not been able to get my mind off of everything that has happened on 9-11-01.
Jokes and little anecdotes seem a little insensitive right now. Images of the plane smashing
into the building, leaving an imprint of only the plane in one side till the explosions shook
everything apart, race through my mind. I wasn't touched personally. No one I know was hurt
or killed, but still this event frightens me...has visibly shaken me.
Every time I went up to Chicago I would be filled with a sense of awe as I looked over the
skyline. Amazement filled my eyes each and every time I looked upon the city. It is sort of
like a sense of pride due to the strength and courage it took to make those skyscrapers. The
way the human species strove to rise above it all. When I think about how much work and
effort went into creating each and every building...well, I get sort of choked up. As long as
I wasn't driving I would usually be staring out the window, just looking at the cluster of
buildings. A smile would cross my face as I thought about the assortment of people living in
this community. But it scares me to think about how easily they can be destroyed and with such
malice. It saddens me.
After a few hours of watching the news I just couldn't take it anymore. I had to do something
to take me mind off of it. So I did a whole lot of nothing but stumbled around the house.
Again I turned on the news, and just when I thought that they couldn't show me any more
images or tell me any new information, they do. A small amount of people has started to
attack Arab-Americans. That is just about as bad as the terrorists. Innocent people being
tormented. All I can do is shake me head is disbelief and just hope that people will start
to figure things out a bit.
Parts of me do not want to be writing something like this. Other parts have been trying to
find the words to say. Even another part is still sitting here in disbelief. I'm not
sure what is going on.
Good luck everyone.
What a glorious weekend. On Saturday I thought it was Sunday, which meant
I was able to fool myself into believing I had free day off. Damn me and
my tricky brain.
Sunday was the opening day of the NFL. I have officially recognized that I
will never be a NFL coach, and I'm all right about that. During the time I
have been searching for a job I have started a list of every job out there
and began to cross them off, and here is another I can scratch off my list.
It has fallen among some other high favorites such as male stripper and
baby eater. The NFL coach debacle is due to the fact that in my fantasy football league that I am in I have chosen all
the wrong players to start. Even Samir beat me.
I would also like to express thanks to my friend Mike R. who ended up
giving me free Tool tickets last night which forced me to sit in a daze
through out my day of work today due to a lack of sleep from the weekend. The
show was quite interesting. Tool has short little films being played in
the background during all of the songs. One of the things that was not
lacking was cock. In many of the films there were a lot of naked people,
and at one point a naked man climbed towards the top of the screen, hung
upside down by his feet and gyrated to the song. Another aspect was the
the lead singer of Tool, kept talking down to the crowd. He played a funny
joke asking the crowd to repeat after him, and everything he said was "I
will think for myself. I will be an individual. I will not repeat what
others have said." Man the crowd really giggled over that one.
The opening band, who I keep forgetting the name of (which is no surprise
because sometimes I don't even remember the name of bands I like), had no
cocks in their show, but they were metal. And I mean metal all the way.
Welcome to head bangers ball. From what I was able to gather from the
lyrics, it sounded like he was a little upset that the Bears lost. I think
that is why he was yelling. I understood his pain. I yelled a lot too
during the game. It is almost the exact same thing, but completely
Football season is upon us and I have joined a game with my friends. A little thing
called fantasy football. Needless to say, I'm going to get my ass kicked in, but still
I would like to show everyone the results of our game. Feel free to check how the mighty
Ukrainian Tenenbaums fair against the strong 4-D Monkeys. Shit man, their 4-D! Are you prepared
for the trumbling that will be caused by trendylibrarians. when they go head to head with
MarkMalone_My_Hero? No, I don't think you are. Mostly due to the fact that I'm not ready and
I've been playing around with this game the whole week. Feel free to come and check on
our results week in week out (they should be updated after Monday
Night Football) to see if Dos Huevos Grandes will remain victorious when he meets Firm Buttocks.
*Disclaimer* : Those names mention in the previous paragraph are the names of or teams. See, it
all makes sense now. *Disclaimer*
Mental Note 3: Pay attention to your other mental notes! Stoopud I-90.
I cashed a Savings Bond I had since I was born. As I sat there for 40 minutes I had the
incredible feeling that this is a sure sign that my childhood is over. The last remenants
from when I was a kid is slowly leaving my life. A thing that I was given when I was born to
use when I grew up is now actually being put to use. My heart started beating faster,
I grew nervous. I debated on not cashing it. Finally I accepted the money. But to convince
myself that I was not a complete adult yet, I went outside and ran around on a playground
pretending I was a space man during my lunch hour. So screw you real world!
A special gift from me to you. All of this information is coming to you
straight from me at work. Finally they have hooked me up to this thing
they call The World Wide Web and I have access to the lowliest form,
e-mail. So I'm writing this to send to myself (so when I check my inbox
there will actually be something besides old men threatening me because I
have no useful information about hookers in Pittsburgh) so that you my
faithful readers, especially that guy from France who keeps coming back for
more, can have an insight into the thoughts I have at work. Please,
A few days ago the Human Resouces department decided they had to improve
office morale due to the fact that this place steals your soul, and every
once in a while they try and fool you into believing that you are not
losing your soul by giving you ice cream. But today was different. They
passed out silly string and some cameras and said, take pictures of you
guys having fun. "Screw you.", I thought. Especially since they did not
hand me any silly string. After all the string was used and I watched I
gathered up a lot of the string, bunched it into a ball and have placed it
on the side of my computer screen. It is still sitting there growing it's
own eco-system reminding me I only have over a month left till I get to
regenerate my soul.
King of the Temps. For a while I thought Marc was King of the Temps, but
instead I have found a new candidate. My friend Chris was telling me of
this 38 year old temp who was brought in to move some files closer to the
people who need them. While moving them he created his own system of
hiroglyphics that only he could understand and wrote them on the boxes he
was moving so that only he and only he understood the filing system. This
forced the company to keep this Temp among temps for a month when his job
should only have taken a week. And what did he do with all that time? He
spent most of the time hiding, sleeping, talking, and running away from any
of his bosses. From temps all around the world, we salute you.
This past Labor Day weekend I went out and pretended I was ditching work. It made the days
more exciting. I made sure I stayed away from the area I work. If they saw me then the
gig would be up. And we all know how we feel when the gig is up. I played some video games,
read a bit, looked at a computer screen, walked around, played some sports, and had some ice
cream. I like ice cream.
I'm going to get some ice cream tonight.
How is Duff Man so damn funny!
When I move I'm going to live like a king. If a king lives with no furniture.