My Archives: March 2004



Yawn! Iíve spent too much time playing video games last night.

Did anyone else know that Chicago will now be the set for the new Batman movie? Chicago = Gotham. Sweet.

Poor poor Kevin Smith. Maybe Iím just tired of your style of movie, or maybe I really just donít like J-Lo and Mr. Ben but overall a sub par movie. The little girl was adorable though. And Liv Tyler has moved up on my list of actress I would act shy and confused around.

Stoopud Mark Prior. Get healthy!

Iím currently wrestling with myself if I should go or not go to my Spanish class this evening. Now, I know I should go, but last class was a long time. Today Iím tired (but I will wake up a bit as the day moves along), I want to play video games, and my friend is going shopping after work. I want to go shopping after work. I havenít gone shopping in a while. I need new pants, shirts, and shoes. Iím ok with socks currently, but I wouldnít mind another fun pair. I think we all know where this is going to end up.

Tomorrow is my friend and ex-roommates B-day. Hers is actually one of the few birthdays I actually remember (aug 18th seems to be burned in my brain too). So this is a shout out to Kelly. Happy Birthday Girl!

Posted by fookayooka @ 10:02 AM CST [Link]



I just got to see Silver Jews play! How sweet is that? So sweet.

Posted by fookayooka @ 01:05 AM CST [Link]



Seriously you donít want to mess with me. Donít get on my bad side. I canít say what Iím going to do.

So Iím walking out of work and one of my co-workers, someone who speaks in a constant high pitched moan is walking up to me. She stands in front of me and just says, ďTwo wheels from the side of my car are missing. I got into my car and tried to move only it would go anywhere.Ē I just stare at her, controlling the urge to laugh mostly because of the way she said it. I walk past her car and her car is propped close to 30 degrees into the air held up by a cement brick, lug nuts laying on the ground, and two empty spots where her tires should be. Her car is a Honda people. You stole two Honda tires. My job is so ghetto it hurts sometimes.

Posted by fookayooka @ 01:05 AM CST [Link]



Itís about a total lack of caring right now.

Last night we had to bowl, as I do every Tuesday evening. So as Iím putting together a masterpiece at bowling, showing everyone how itís done (after a despicable 1st game) the owner comes over the speakers announcingÖÖ.That we all have to leave right now. We will not be charged for this evenings event of 1 and a half games of bowling. It appears that the ceiling is collapsing. The guy next to me looks at the ceiling sees it drooping and goes, ďHoly shit, Iím out of here.Ē and proceeds to walk out of the bowling alley wearing his bowling shoes.

Posted by fookayooka @ 08:52 AM CST [Link]



Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Quite a moving movie if I do say so myself. Would I see it again. Yes.

This past Sunday involved me sitting. Now, thatís nothing new, but I got to hold both of my nieces for a good portion of the day. Mainly they just kept sleeping in my arms. Now it wasnít a life changing eye opening experience, but it was calming. Also, I got to rub Abigailís belly because it kept her asleep.

Day 2, feel like Iím going to snap.

Posted by fookayooka @ 01:41 PM CST [Link]



Yesterday began the most slothful days of the year. The NCAA Tournament began. For the last two years Iíve taken this Thursday and Friday off of work and went to my friend Paul Swaneyís place and watched the tourney. Paul Swaney himself has not attended school or work since the 3rd grade, which I find quite impressive. Paul treats us right by feeding us enormous amounts of food, and letting us bums sit there. Yesterday a couple came and looked at Paul Swaneyís apartment. Sadly this may have been the worst time for anyone to come a look at anything in Paul Swaneyís apartment. We were already sitting around for something close to 7 hours. Someone walked out of the bathroom when they walked past it. 10 seconds later they are walking very quickly to see the porch with their hands covering their mouths. This shit is hilariousÖÖpoop jokes. Canít get better.

One of my friends is so worried/annoyed/like to set challenges that he is offering my friends and I $50 to quit smoking for 6 months. It begins this Monday. One thing that will help is the people I see the most that smoke will also be quitting. Cross your fingers. This has gone on long enough. Time for some major will power. By the way, Iíll be making $.010 per hour for this gig. Sweet.

Posted by fookayooka @ 09:23 AM CST [Link]



A Late Night RantÖÖby me.

Itís late while Iím lying awake in my bed listening to the traffic pass by, one car every couple of minutes, in the recently fallen March snow covered streets. I canít figure out whatís been bouncing around in my head, but I do know that Iíve been severely messed up for about one month now. Iím tired, but every time I try to go to bed my mind races every which way. Itís weird. Itís cold here, and Iím really tired of it being cold. Something in my brain is yelling, screaming, slamming against my skull to really start doing something with my life. To do more, I think this has been the thesis of whatís been tugging at me. Itís why I try to create more out of what Iím doing so that it becomes meaningful. I create these things so that something matters, but Iíve created so many distractions, which have been holding me back. When I hang out with my friends its just hanging out, sitting there doing what Iíve done all the time, going back to high school. Iím not saying itís not fun, but something has been nagging me. When I look back I just feel Iíve wasted a lot of time. How can these things be so important and I feel so empty and drained. Iím just angrier now, more than Iíve ever been, and anger doesnít suit me. This past month all Iíve done is ostracize myself because Iíve been feeling used. Iíve always experience moments that seem so important to me, moments I think I share with others but find that it was just one second for them, while it seems like an eternity to me. I put too much weight on those moments and made them too meaningful, when they were just what they were, moments. I canít sort out my feelings or emotions because the emotions I have just end up being lost hopes and wasted energy. Itís wasted because they just get here and nothing becomes of it except I start to close myself off and push people away. I had to shut my self down because it was getting to real, and reality freaks me out. Look at the things I do to pass time, everything to escape. Iíve created so many situations in my head and heart that I get frustrated and angry at people being what they are, what they have always been. Itís because it felt like more and I wanted it to be more, but it always makes me feel more isolated. Itís not that Iím alone. I know that. Pick a state and odds are I have a friend there who will let me crash on their couch on a moments notice. My core group of friends is extremely tight, only we havenít really grown closer in the last couple of years. Every time I feel a connection, such as a connection I have felt with my friends, I want to grab hold of it and keep it tight, but I donít. I begin to push, but instead of pushing, itís more like letting a wave wash over me so I end up sprawled out on the floor. Iím not saying this makes sense. Most of what I do doesnít make sense. Iím just using this as a forum, as a way to get my thoughts down and out so that I might be able to look at them slightly removed. I think I need some changes in my life right now. I need something to happen, or better yet I need to make something happen. So Iím going to lay down now. Attempt to get some sleep so that I can hopefully go to work and not want to strangle everyone I speak with on the phones. I hope I can sort all of this out soon. Iím tired of staring at my desk annoyed at what Iím/Iíve becoming/become. Sorry to make you read all this, but then again it might be slightly entertaining. Odds are you are at work and bored.

Posted by fookayooka @ 11:03 AM CST [Link]



Iím feeling slightly creative. That is why you get a lovely update.

Two days off of work with pay. Thatís what I was just given. Two days off so that I can attend a conference that really did not apply to my job. Oh, it could apply to my job if I would ever get promoted, but it took two of my friends almost 3 years before they were, and I think I would cry if I was still at my crappy job 3 years from now. But I was given two days off to travel to Bloomington-Normal for a work conference. Not a bad deal if I do say so myself. Mostly due to the fact that the bars down there are cheap as hell compared to Chicago (13 beers, 4 burgers, total $36). It was nice. My usual thoughts that have been putting me in a foul mood lately did not enter my mind. Even though all those young whipper snappers were away on Spring Break I still enjoyed myself. I surprised myself by winning three straight games of pool where the drunk George kept yelling and pointing at me, ďYou got to watch out for that guy.Ē Sadly Iím not that good at pool. I was just able to bring my A game, which really doesnít happen to much. It was really nice to get away for a little while, and part of me really missed the small town feeling. Things move a little slower, people seem kinder. That whole shtick.

My thoughts returned to me as the Chicago skyline appeared out of the bus I was riding though. The soft jazz station, which was preceded by Mr. Deeds on the many television sets throughout the bus, did not help my mood nor did it allow me to really read as much as I was hoping. Right now I was just staring at my ceiling thinking. My roommate told me I need to become unsensitized to my surroundings. She also informed me that everyone will think Iíve gone crazy.

In the few scenarios I thought of, I hope I can actually act like the hard-ass I want to be and not just the sweet sensitive guy I end up being.

Posted by fookayooka @ 10:25 PM CST [Link]



What an enjoyable weekend.

Just so everyone knowsÖ.you are currently looking at the 2nd place Can You Guess The Oscar Winner contestant. Which is pretty hot. I know. Who picked the correct short films. This guy. Sweet. Seriously though the Oscar Party I attended had to be the best Oscar experience. You ask what did I add? Well, mainly I just added a loud booming BOO anytime Seabiscuit showed up. Stoopud film. Another highlight was my friend going crazy every time Oprah was shown. He was almost in tears as she presented.

Last night was great until the moment I decided to fall asleep. After an hour of my thoughts going down the path Iíve told it time and time again not to I arose from my bed and started to play some video games. Some classic video games! Like PAPERBOY! If I only could stop running into that damn green carÖ.

While I was wondering around my apartment last night trying to figure out if I was tired enough to fall asleep Iím really glad I didnít do the three things I thought of. Very glad.

Lately Iíve been noticing a habit of pushing people away. Iím not really sure why Iím doing this. Iíve just been looking forward to spending some nights by myself, not really doing anything, just not with a large group of people. But Iím ostracizing individuals. Why? I donít know.

Posted by fookayooka @ 03:40 PM CST [Link]

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