Apparently there were primaries, and apparently somebody won. But I'm not here to gloat. I'm above all that partisan nonsense of "preferring" one candidate to "another".
No, no gloating here. No, I'm here to make a joke.
The day of the primaries, there were signs plastered all over my workplace reading "Vote Today!" So far so good. But after that, whoever was in charge of GOTV really fell down on the job. The next morning, not one of the signs had been updated to say "Vote Yesterday!"
I am so cool.