Wednesday, December 22, 2004

somuchhamlet

I get a couple days off from work this week, allegedly it has something to do with Jesus, but I don't think it does really. I've got one more day of work to get through, but two more nights of Danish gravedigging...

So six weeks after his re-certification, the Great Leader’s approval rating is now 48%. No president has ever been re-elected with an approval rating below 50%. That was close. Wipe that sweat from your brow and congratulate yourself on another job brilliantly done, Karl. This week the C in C chastised cowardly Iraqi troops, who he spent so much time praising during the campaign, for abandoning their posts. One must fight valiantly not to smirk and think of the skies of Alabama that Bush was willing to cede to the Viet Cong. What exactly are the Iraqis supposed to be dying for again? Democracy? Surely they can see where ours got us, to say nothing of where it got them.

Did you hear about the priest who killed two people and then hanged himself? I bet he was possessed. Priests going on killing sprees and then hanging themselves is always a sign that some ancient demonic force has been unearthed. I can only hope that the dogged, sexy paranormal investigators are able to read the signs and avert the apocalypse before it’s too late.

I’m a bad person.

I got a Christmas card from one of my big bosses (one of the three very attractive women who run my division) in which she said she expects big things from me in 2005. That’s a nice thing to hear, especially as I’m choosing not to interpret said big things as being remotely related to my job.

And on the topic of beautiful women, which I’m never really far from, I’m not a follower of Hollywood gossip. I like to read interviews with movie stars and stuff ‘cause I’m interested in their craft (movie star is my “fall back” career if literary superstar doesn’t work out) but I usually don’t pay attention to their sexual escapades with each other and all that stuff, but I recently read something on IMDB, and this is apparently a very old story but I’m just now familiar with it, but actress Mary Louise Parker, whose “West Wing” character I fell madly in love with was apparently married to actor Billy Crudup. Mr. Crudup left her for Claire Danes when she was eight months pregnant. You know, I generally think of myself as pretty jaded. Love is a fleeting thing (my last romance lasted sixteen hours) all’s fair, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky, life is pain…but EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT? Obviously that sucks in principle, but principle is not my concern, rather, the specific person who has been wronged here, Mary Louise Parker is a goddess. Seriously, she walks among us, as a goddess. I’ve spent some time over the years discussing the hotness of Claire Danes, but she’s got nothing on MLP. Dear God, the third season of West Wing…”I’ve got wit, charm and legs that go all the way down to the floor, my friend.” I’ve never been precisely sure what that means but I know that it convulses me with strange and wonderful sensations every time I hear it. In short what I’m saying is that Ms. Parker deserves to have a man serving her every slightest whim at all hours of the day and night and I believe myself to be an ideal candidate for the position. I am willing to dedicate this entire website to demonstrating this thesis.

I don’t have much to say about Christmas, I hope you have fun. I imagine I will. I think I will have a good Boxing Day if nothing else. Boxing Day is vastly underrated.

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Posted by Miss Bliss @ 12/23/2004 01:18 PM CST