I would like to write some dazzlingly witty things here, but ah...this is not a good era for website writing it would seem. My computer is still inoperable, so if I'm going to write here, I have to do so from the sordid environment of my office. I will now tell you about the great things that are going on.
So what's going on with you? That's an idea. An open thread. They do that all the time in the "blogosphere". If you read this thing, make some comments. Tell us whatever is on your mind. The Internet is democracy at it's most radical. Anyone remember that? From the nineties?
I'M SORRY. I JUST HAD A BAD DAY AT THE DEATH OFFICE AND MY DEATH MANAGER HAS BEEN RIDING ME ABOUT MY NUMBERS FOR THE MONTH.
ANYWAY US DEATH TRAINS SHOULD STICK TOGETHER AND FOCUS ON OUR COMMON ENEMY. THE HUMANS.
KILL ALL HUMANS.
Okay, when I started this website, the last thing I wanted was for it to become the site of an apocalyptic battle between between gigantic metal killing machines.
The very last thing.
As your host, I feel it's my responsibility to tell everyone to remain calm and in their homes during this crisis.
ISN'T THAT CUTE, IT'S ONE OF THOSE COLORFUL DEATH ELS.
LISTEN JR., WE ALL KNOW THAT YOU PROVIDE AN IMPORTANT SERVICE TO THE COMMUNITY, BRINGING DEATH TO THE LITTLE PEOPLE AND ALL. BUT UNTIL YOU HAVE A MIGHTY DIESEL ENGINE BRINGING SCREAMING DEATH TO EXOTIC PLACES LIKE WINNETKA AND BARRINGTON, YOU ARE NO DEATH TRAIN.
"CHICAGO IS NEXT. DOORS OPEN ON THE RIGHT AT CHICAGO." --- DEATH TRAIN
Maybe to Reina.
I never said that.
"Go fuck yourself." ---Rory Leahy
I enjoy that list but I'm somewhat annoyed that I'm not on it.
This has nothing to do with anything, but isn't that the point?
I especially love Faulkner's take on Hemingway.
GREAT LITERARY TAUNTS
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-- Stephen Bishop
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." --- Churchill
(about Clement Atlee)
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." --- Irvin S. Cobb
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." --- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." --- William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."--- Samuel Johnson
"He had delusions of adequacy." --- Walter Kerr
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." --Groucho Marx
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human
knowledge." --- Thomas Brackett Reed
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." --- Forrest Tucker
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." --- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." --- Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go."--- Oscar Wilde
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." ---Oscar Wilde
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." --- Billy Wilder