My roommate recently found an all too typical sob story on some dude's blog. The blog is fairly hilarious, and fairly typical of many things I've seen on this here World Wide Woe machine. The guy's header for himself is "Single, bored and lonely". With a sales pitch like that you have to wonder why.
Anyway, apparently this guy happens to have recently kidnapped, raped and murdered a ten year old girl, and was apparently going to eat her before he was stopped. "Killing with intent to eat", I believe that's the section of the Oklahoma penal code he's currently being prosecuted under.
Anyway, that's not the sob story, the actual sob story is something he wrote several months prior, he was lamenting the reason women didn't like him: Because He's Too Nice A Guy.
And as we all know, women don't like nice guys.
People who know me know that humor is important to me, I traffic in it rather frequently on this website. I like to laugh a great deal. Laughter is my greatest source of joy (it's certainly not sex, because I'm single, bored and lonely) and I'm highly discriminating about what makes me laugh. Please understand, dear readers, that I have not literally fallen off my seat and collapsed on a floor howling with laughter since the Spring of 1996, it seems destined to happen once every ten years.
That little girl died so that I could laugh my ass off. She's much like Jesus that way.
Yeah, I know. I'm not a nice guy.
Although it must be said that he was a nicer guy than Ted Bundy.
Yeah, I'm an admirer of Mr. Hicks but I didn't know that bit. I've just familiarized myself with it and fortunately, he doesn't make the "I'm a nice guy" assertion, because face it, that was hardly the case...
If you're a Bill Hicks fan, you've surely heard the 'satan's pussywhipped' bit where Hicks laments that Ted Bundy was getting marraige proposals by the truckload...and Hicks STILL couldn't get laid.