"How did it go?" Interesting question Modern Day Moll (you people with the pseudonyms, I know it's always Twinters or Fritz so you can just give up these twisted games) Being paid was nice, but it wasn't as fun as anticipated. The audience wasn't terribly interested either in us or the professionally trained dancers who were playing flappers, bloody tie wearing jackasses. They were interested when they realized part of our skit was auctioning off fabulous prizes. It was supposed to be an auction, they would bid for the prizes with fake money they had won while gambling. I was picturing a civilized affair in which people would stand to bid and we would call on them, instead the motherfuckers *rushed the stage* and started accusing each other of cheating and stuff, and we wound up being pretty arbitrary. I gave the prizes, which were big, like trips to Vegas, to people who I thought were funniest. Nobody said anything about making me count the fake money. As Chevy Chase once said "It was my understanding...that there would be no math."
But that wasn't the most noteworthy part of the evening, the most noteworthy part of the evening was the enormous damage I did to my body through the free alcohol I consumed. It was only the third time in my five years of semi-regular drinking that I ever drank enough to throw up. And why did I do this? Because I thought it would impress one of the aforementioned dancers. Because I'm fifteen.
I figured it was you Kurt, it's just kind of like when I know someone called me and I don't know who it was. I want to reach back and touch you. Yeah, the corporate types were strange, it's nice to work for a nonprofit. Apart from the non-profiting.
Sorry about the alias, Rory. When I write, sometimes I can't resist the temptation to poke the audience with a stick. (Which is probably the only way I'll ever get to poke anyone with a stick).
However, I've discovered that alcohol makes me not mind being prodded. So, really, I was just trying to motivate you to get drunk.
Hey, what happened to the virtual blackjack / gambling people who used to post spam here? I think I've figured out why they did that in the first place. The subheading on your "post a comment" page is "Every entry is a guaranteed winner". If that doesn't attract gamblers, I don't know what does.
Maybe fake money is a stronger attraction. By the way, who cheats with fake money? Or worse -- suspects coworkers of cheating with fake money? The corporate world be a strange place.
If you would like to see me drunk, identify yourself (your aliases madden me)and I will make sure to intoxicate myself the next time we hang out. Unless it's in the next few weeks. I won't be touching the Demon Liquor for a long time.
Well, no wonder! If your last post was right, the hootch you were imbibing had a recipe that called for bunnies and cabbage. That's enough to do anyone in.
Seriously, Rory...I would love to see you drunk. It would be beautiful, or terrifying. Possibly both.
