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Monday, March 6, 2006

some notes

On the Oscars: I watched the Oscars in their entirety just now, because of Mr. Stewart's role as host. I've already heard it said that he was not as funny as on the Daily Show, that's possible but only because it's extremely difficult to be as funny as he is on the Daily Show, but I think it was quite great. I've only seen I think Munich and Goodnight and Good Luck, of the big nominated movies, both of which I enjoyed very much, although the latter only on an simplistic, unnuanced level that was basically liberal porn. I was mainly watching for Jon. And those montages. I may be one of the few people in the world who loves those montages.

But the other man I'm in love with in a completely non-gay way is George Clooney. As a much admired by me blogger/writer Meghann Marco said of him: is it physically possible for a human being to suck as little as he does?

And now for some heterosexual thoughts, only tangentially related to the Oscars: I watched it at a party hosted by cute girl book editors, and the party was filled with other cute girl book editors. Witty, literate, cute girls talking about books make me want to kiss them, a lot. Not that I did.

Also, I officially proclaim the Jewel on Western and Roscoe just north of Belmont to be the Cute Girl Jewel. I want that to become a big cultural thing in Chicago, it needs to be written up in the Reader or something. That is the Jewel where you can find the cute girls, both working and shopping.

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Replies: 7 comments

Your contribution to the conversation has been noted, Ativan.


Does that mean Donny was Pacey? Or possibly Tariq?

Sprite! I used to like Sprite! I'm a Coke man now. Probably a downward trend in terms of health.

There were a few movies we saw over and over, nothing like PB of course, but Spaceballs, Ghostbusters II. Anything from the glorious summer of '89 will resonate through time and space, of course.

Yes, my dad's pretty saintly.

I haven't seen Brokeback yet, mostly because I find his movies depressing, moody, and anti-climatic. For all the dour mood that Sense & Sensibility was, I looked forward to the end, only to find there was more screentime given to Marianne's illness. Beyond that, the man cast Skeet Ulrich and Jewel in leading roles... Good God. Skeet (what kind of name IS that?) will never be more than a Johnny Depp wannabe with 1/5 the talent.

You've known me to reach certain fanatical levels with movies - repeated viewings and the ability to quote nearly every line. However, there has never been a film that's reached the status of Princess Bride. My Mom took us, my mom took us with Joey and his friends, my Mom took us with Kelly Joyce and Marissa Pascua, your Mom took us with my brother and Donny Verdon to a Baby Boom double feature. Mostly, I think your Dad took us. Even after it left the local theaters, I remember your Dad driving us to far-flung movie houses to see it for the umpteenth time. And always, enough cash for a large butter popcorn with extra butter in the middle, a large Sprite, and Twizzlers to use as straws. Good times. You were definitely my pre-prubescent Dawson for a while.

You know, I haven't seen Brokeback Mountain but it actually seems a tad Dawson's Creekesque to me.

I forgave all the "See our movies in theatres" stuff, because I do love the traditional moviegoing experience and I hope it survives. There was nothing quite like that magical Year of Princess Bride...where we would be about to see it on a Friday night, and then, prior to seeing it, we would make plans to see it Saturday afternoon.

For your viewing pleasure, Rory, here's the opening skit with our dear Mr. Stewart:

And a gay cowboy montage (gotta love those montages!):

Jon did a fantastic job. He may not have been as funny, since he's playing to a much broader audience (and I do think he stole Janeane Garofalo's mid-90's joke about "A Return to Glamour") but at least he didn't try any sight gags like Whoopi or Steve, or try to sing like Billy. Bruce Vilanch may have found his muse. The opening was probably funnier than it's been in years, and it was really nice to not have Jack Nicholson mentioned in every bit, even though he was seated prominently in the front row.

After Jon's joke about running out of film clips for montages, I admitted that I love the montage; America's Funniest Home Video montages, my wedding dvd, complilations of movie bloopers and outtakes -- I love 'em all. The montages shown on the Oscars reminded me of Disney's Great Movie Ride ~ at the end, you can't help but tear up as all these happy, exhilarating, sad, angry, and thoughtful images move before you in some sort of visual orgasmic crescendo.

Indeed the point of having so many Oscar montage moments, besides the usual death montage (where they sadly excluded Don Knotts, Darin McGavin, & Bob Denver - I hope they're remembered next year), was part of the Academy's President's campaign to get us regular folks into the theaters. While he was correct in reminding us that there's nothing like sitting in a darkened theater surrounded by strangers experiencing the same thing at the same time -- there's also nothing like sitting in the comfort of your own home, in your jammies, and watching one of the latest mediocre movies or TV remake Hollywood's big studios have turned out. DVD sales are breaking records every day, and it's not just because we like to be at home -- it's partially because going to the show isn't what it used to be. Why go to the show and spend $20 on tickets and $15 on drinks or popcorn to see Jessica Simpson shake her skinny little ass when you can just wait a month, 2 at the most, and spend $23 at Target for both the movie and the snacks?? Besides, movies are no longer at the show as long as they used to be. I remember you and I figuring out that it'd taken us a year to see the Princess Bride an obscene amount of times at the show (I bet we hold a record or something). If that movie had been released now, I'm sure it'd be in & out of the theaters in 2 months flat.

Just note on Clooney ~ besides causing a near sexual arousal for liberals, he revels in his goofy past that's allowed him to achieve the power status he has now. I, for one, would've loved to see Michelle Williams win and say something like, "Ah, it's a long way from the Creek..." Plus, he has this weird ability to make everyone feel like they're in on some sort of joke, like with Ocean's 11. I might be wrong, but I venture to say we'll see Ben Affleck or Matt Damon in the same light one day.

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