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Sunday, June 18, 2006

The Modern Prometheus

Man, I just got all bitten up by a cat. What did I do to it, except pet it and stuff? I am almost as incompetent with nature as I am with artifice.

My neighborhood is filled with adorable dogs, and to a lesser extent, adorable cats, my roommate and I have both kind of adopted them. By maintaining good relations with their human overlords, we have managed to have all the good parts of having pets without the frequent drawbacks. Have I ever told you about my neighbor Lynn's dog Cody? "COODDDY" is all I have to say about that subject.

Anyway, I was playing with a cat in my building's backyard/parking lot, and the cat seemed all into being played with and started biting me a bit. Now I was okay with that at first, because I've always been told that cats bite playfully, and I've always been totally cool with cats biting me, and it has always felt playful in the past. But now I'm thinking maybe it's just my childhood friend who owns twelve cats and is determined to cast all feline behavior in a positive light that's told me that. I realized after a couple of moments that this biting wasn't playful. This biting was a futile, hubristic but damned if one doesn't have to sort of admire it attempt to kill and eat me. This beast either saw me as a threat or as the ultimate hunting challenge, or a bit of both. Although this furry bastard failed to take me down, it didn't leave me unscarred...And it lived to tell the tale of its battle with a homo sapien giant, which I think makes it one of the more powerful creatures of the 4951 N. Oakley community.

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Replies: 5 comments

When I have an actual house with an actual yard and an actual doggy door (no letting the dog out at 4 a.m.! hells yeah) I'm going to get a German shepherd named Rufus King and an English bulldog named Tench Tilghman.
Pocket, you're the history guy, right? Are you with me? Aren't they the best names to come out of the American Revolution? I'm not wrong here. Best dog names ever.

Yeah, I noticed the changes to your house maybe a couple of years ago actually. Time will crawl...

My favorite dog name is Prophet the Killer Guard Dog, the most vicious and powerful dog in all the land...

Pet-naming is a truly bizarre human art form. Cats are given names like Cleo and Blossom, while dogs get names like Rambo and Cody. Cats get pretty names while dogs get powerful or dumb names, in general. Then, of course, once the animal has started to learn its name, we humans go and mess with them a little more by giving them nicknames.

Take, for instance, my bro's german shepherd Misha, named for my father's mother Polish nickname for Michelle. Except she doesn't just answer to Misha, she now answers to Bear, Big Bear, Little Bear, My Little Friend, Pretty Girl, Anubis, and Poopy or Poopoola. My Dad just calls her "the animal." This dog has some serious ADD, she's just like her owner. However, if you say "outside" or "treat" she acts as if those are her names, as well.

Do me a favor and tell David of my astonishing memory. He thinks I just have a really good imagination when we're arguing about stuff that already happened.

Sidenote: Have you seen what they've done to my old house?? The blue and white shingles are gone and all the bushes in the front have disappeared! It's a yellow house now!!!

Your memory is phenomenal, I usually am in fact fairly cool with the average cat bite, and don't remember these moments though I'm sure they happened.

I never much liked the names Blossom and Rosie, which were my mother's cutesy idea. Because Rosie was grey. I wanted to name her "Graeae" after the three witches of mythology. Would have been harder to say but better than "Rosie".

Dogs *can* be deceptive but not as often.


I don't know any other dogs named Cody, this Cody is a female oddly enough.

You do recall your insane kitten Blossom, right? I recall a few moments where you weren't "totally cool with cats biting you." Each morning, I'd walk in and have to fight for my life against that KITTEN. Rosie was much more calm, as far as kittens go, but she also would spend hours thinking of ways to claw her way up my leg or your arm.

Cats and kittens are evil because they're deceptive. They'll roll around with their "Come hither and pet me" look and WHAM pounce on you like you're a bird, biting the crap out of your arm. If I'm thinking of the right childhood friend, I remember a few times her cats went nuts, too. My mom once told me that you don't pet animals you don't know... but there I was, 3 years old on the corner of Brummel and Asbury allowing a "neighborhood cat" to smell my hand when that little fucker bit me, sending me to the St Francis ER. Which reminds me, did you read about the rabid kittens adopted from Petco stores in the Beltway?

At least dogs aren't deceptive. But why do people seem to name them Cody all the time?

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