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Sunday, December 24, 2006

Christmas Message: I Hate You

"If I could work my will, every idiot that goes about with the words 'Merry Christmas' on his lips would be boiled in his own pudding and buried with a stake of holly through his heart."

I think A Christmas Carol is a great English tragedy, it's the story of a good man descending into evil. Or at least a wise man descending into stupidity.

I hate Christmas because it's a time you're supposed to spend with your blood relatives and I generally don't like doing that, except with the ones I spend a fair amount of time with anyway. The last couple of nights were more meaningful to me because I spent time with people I really wanted to be with, also I saw a lot of Christmas lights last night and those were cool. Lights are cool.

Those of us who are outcasts to our own kin (which I quite literally am even though the doddering old woman who made me so has probably forgotten doing so) pretty much get whiny this time of year, so please forgive me.

Then all I have to do is glance at the headlines to reinforce what a bunch of offensive crap the whole birth of Christ business is: Eight United States Marines have just been charged with war crimes in Haditha, among those crimes being raping a thirteen year old girl, then murdering her and her entire family (because if we don't fight them over there we'll have to fight them over here) Ethiopia is now blowing up large portions of Somalia, and that little town of Bethlehem is a heavilly fortified military checkpoint.

In the words of U2: "Hear it every Christmastime but hope and history won't rhyme so what's it worth? Peace on earth."

I did get an awesome present from one of my true non-blood family members, an MP3 of Tom Waits' gorgeous "Day After Tomorrow".

Art is the only true religion, it doesn't pretend to know what it doesn't know, it just wants you to feel something.

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Replies: 2 comments

I'd like to take this opportunity to state how sick I am of Christmas music. Who can listen to so damn much of this shit? I mean, it's one damn CD played over and over again. The artists change, but the songs don't. How many versons of White Christmas can you hear before it becomes just another song? Don't tell me it still holds meaning the 52nd time. On second thought, tell me that. I could stand to hit someone on the head and that's as good a reason as any.

Right now I'm working on a playlist I'm thinking of calling Because X-Mas Music Sucks Anyway. It's a load of holiday themed songs you never hear from people like Nicotine and They Might Be Giants. I'll butn you a copy if you like once it's done.

And I think the real tragedy of A Christmas Carol is that it took someone so long to try it with Muppets.

Modern electronic communications are fantastic for sending news from all over the world about how unbearable humans are making life for each other, but those same worldwide networks are shite for delivering items like loving embraces or booze.

Instead, I will send you a couple of cathartic MP3s.

I hope you are able to spend the day in a way that's bearable, or at least a way that makes sense.

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