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Monday, October 30, 2006

Every legend has a beginning...

And every prequel has that tagline. George Lucas used that tagline for Star Wars Episode I and literally every entertainment franchise since then has also made note of this truth. The makers of Star Trek, James Bond, the Exorcist, King Arthur (KING ARTHUR!) have all asserted this reality since, as if this nugget of wisdom was somehow controversial.

Maybe you were under the impression that legends sprung into the collective consciousness fully formed, or even that they are shaped over time by various different tellers and that definitive versions are elusive, if so you are wrong: They have beginnings. It is critical that we are clear on this point.

The one that gets me (perhaps even more than King Arthur) is the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It's clear that series is running out of steam due to the fact that they released a remake like two years ago, followed by a prequel to that remake. Because continuity and character development are really important to that particular fictional world.

I have a new idea to reinvigorate that series, the next entry will be a Ken Burns style documentary. An old man will sit on a rocking chair (the obligatory tumbleweed will blow by) and the filmmakers will solemnly ask him for his perspective.

"Well," he will say, "Once upon a time, when the legend began, there was a chainsaw in Texas. It's funny how now, in retrospect, you realize that a massacre was almost inevitable..."


On the other hand, my self esteem is affected by strange things. There are some qualities I really, really like about myself that most people don't take into consideration.

One of these things is my stealth. I'm extremely stealthy. Generally speaking, people don't know I'm there until I want them to. It's possible I'm in the room with you right now and you don't know it.

Is this post a little creepy? Sure. But it makes me feel good about myself, and you're not going to deny me that are you?

Saturday, October 28, 2006


Someone was just interviewing my roommate about all of the various cool artistic things she does. No one has interviewed me in years. I have a massive inferiority complex. Inferior!

Also, for Halloween, I'm Bill, of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. My friend Rob who is Ted, designed some really good costumes for us but we have been unable to render my hair blonde. This also makes me feel inferior. I was really looking forward to being a blonde, but sadly I will have to settle for my present level of fun.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

stop making me defend George W Bush

Today is one of those truly remarkable days in my job in which I have time to sit around not doing that much, meaning I can toss of an entry here. Of course the entries I actually write will never match the platonic ideals in my head. For example, I've been meaning to write a long entry about the "9/11 conspiracy" hysteria, that seemed to be at a high pitch awhile back. But now, I don't know, it seems less meaningful. At the time I was really fired up about it though. The impetus was that I attended a "political sketch comedy revue" (already in dangerous territory there) my friend Molly was in maybe six weeks ago. It had bright spots, but overall, was all about the preachy and very little of the funny, the number one problem in so called political art. Watch the Daily Show sometime kids, (or read the Onion, or since you're in Chicago, visit Second City) you'll learn that making a point works best if you worry about getting the laugh *first*. Anyway, a large segment of this very lefty show was devoted to...comically? demonstrating that the destruction of the World Trade Center was a sinister scheme carried out by George W Bush and sixty five thousand (that's roughly the number of co-conspirators who would have had to be involved) of his closest friends. This was cheered on by most of the crowd. This made me want to hurl things and/or walk out of the room. It's just depressing to realize there are segments of the Left that are just as devoted to gross prejudice and irrationality as any Bible thumper.

What's more deppressing is that not long ago some kind of poll was conducted revealing that a third of the American population believed the Bush administration had "something to do with" the attacks, a couple of years ago, *two thirds* believed Saddam Hussein did, which leads you to conclude that pretty much the entire country is just flat out insane. O sweet reason, where have you gone? Although honestly I do question the methodology of the research.

It's embarassing to be involved in those things, it makes liberals as well as radicals look stupid, since not many others can tell the difference. They've done the same thing to Bush that Bush did to Saddam Hussein, create an absurd cult of personality wherein all evil in the world is caused by one guy and that if we just take him out, everything will be just fine.

It's basically the idiotic far leftist belief that America is always bad and all the dark skinned peoples are morally superior by virtue of...I don't know, it's every bit as stupid as the opposite view on the Right, that America is ordained by God and...Both sides: get over yourselves.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Or not as it turns out

Man, I suck. Got 2000 words of play done though. That's okay.

Friday, October 20, 2006

Take heart fans of my blog! By whom I mean Twinters and Kurt and possibly my dad.

I've declared tomorrow to be my personal Write Like A Motherfucker Day, most of which will be devoted to current play, but hopefully some of which might get earmarked for this website. Stranger things have happened. Like when people turn into werewolves. That's seriously freaky.

Friday, October 6, 2006

okay, I do have something to say

For years people have been agitating for me to read Michael Chabon's "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay" telling me how it's a brilliant book, Pulitzer Prize winner blah blah and also about comic books. It's not that I haven't wanted to read it, it's just that I've had a lot of other things to read. Now I've read them all and am finally reading Kavalier. Sweet Christ is this a great book!

Not only is it about comics, but it's also about how sometimes you go to parties and beautiful women fall in love with you after you save Salvador Dali's life.

That is so true!

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

I got nothin'

Wow, sorry, this is a placeholder. What it's holding a place for, I really don't know. I used to be capable of writing fairly okay things in this space but...well, when I'm home, I need to write other things, and I no longer have the kind of job where I can sit around writing things.

This is an apology for the fact that this isn't much of a website anymore, if it ever was.

Fortunately the Internet has plenty of other good things on it.

Sunday, October 1, 2006

Because supporting Obama was this website's original purpose

Best thing ever

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