It was raining this morning when I went to work. Lots of people were carrying umbrellas. I don't get umbrellas. I've never owned one and always feel rather imposed upon when someone offers me one. I like rain. Do I find it bothersome sometimes? Sure, but never to the extent that I would feel the need to carry an umbrella. It's not that I don't like them, I just think they're out of place somehow. They're great in Victorian paintings, but not on a rain soaked, contemporary street. It's just making a bid deal out of something that is not a big deal. Water falling on you. First of all, your body is like seventy percent water, you need to drink water all the time and you shower every day. But when water starts falling from the sky, we freak out. Weird. Now a tsunami or something, that's bad news. But then an umbrella is unlikely to help.
My cable provider does irrational and hurtful things to me sometimes, like broadcasting the first half of the Daily Show mute last night, which is not, in fact the optimal way to broadcast it. For whatever reason, Jon Stewart isn't nearly as funny mute as say, Charlie Chaplin was.
The better thing that happened last night was the first read through of Gods of the Earth. A first read through for me is always a mix of incredible fun and a fair amount of cringing, as hearing your own words read aloud for the first time can be pretty embarrassing, but last night was pretty much just incredible fun. My director CraigRosenPHD, is awesome, and I'm having a wonderful time. I've almost always directed my own work, this is really the first time I've sat back and just been a playwright, not counting the time a play of mine was done in Champaign while I was in Chicago. I've had great assistant directors (who may be reading the website) but I've never had a solid, collaborative relationship with an actual director, and it's working out beautifully. So that's September 16 to October 16, Friday and Saturday nights at 8, and Sundays sometime at Chase Park, 4701 N. Ashland, Chicago, IL. It will be rocking.
Brollies? Goodness. Is that what the youth are calling bumberchutes nowadays?
Sometimes it's good to be umbrellaless. For example, if you're Michael Douglas at the beginning of "War of the Roses", and you're walking with Kathleen Turner. Ah, I love the rain.
But technology throws a wild card into the mix. Take it from one who knows -- cell phones become kind of sulky when dunked. On the other hand, if you're a cutting-edge robot developed for military purposes, a nice bolt of lightning is just what the doctor ordered. Which is something you'd have in common with, really, anybody sewn together from inanimate body parts. It all depends on where you're coming from.
Damn straight your ass't directors are reading your site!
Also: an umbrella can come in handy sometimes. Say it's raining and a beautiful young girl is walking along, in dire fear of mascara melting. "Pardon me," you could say, "but would you like to share my umbrella?" She of course will say yes, and there you have it--one of those "When Harry Met Sally" sort of stories. Granted, those were all scripted. But still. Umbrellas are good. Even better when they're called 'brollies,' as in Britain.