September 24, 2001
More revolutions in the modern theater:
INTERVIEWER: Tell me about your problems.
CHARACTER: Well, I can't find a job, so I'm always broke. That's irritating. I haven't had a meaningful relationship in ages. And I've got a spear through my chest.
INTERVIEWER: Let's talk about the spear for a moment.
CHARACTER: It is sharp, and wooden. It has a colorful tassel at the end. It is well and truly stuck. It hurts.
INTERVIEWER: That was a good description. Now, let's move from problems to solutions. The key to accomplishing goals is having a strong, clear set of priorities. Which of your problems would you like to solve first?
CHARACTER: The job one.
CHARACTER: Well, I figure that if I got a job, I could save up some money, and then I could pay to have the spear dealt with, at a hospital or something.
INTERVIEWER: You stupid fuck.
INTERVIEWER: You have to get the spear problem solved first, shithead. Until you do that, you can't get a job in a building with revolving doors.
CHARACTER: I didn't think about that.
INTERVIEWER: Yeah, well, think about this.
The INTERVIEWER throws a spear at the CHARACTER. It is a direct hit.
CHARACTER: Oh! I die.
The CHARACTER dies.
The INTERVIEWER thinks for a moment and then decides to retrieve his spear. He tries to pull it out of the CHARACTER. He cannot, because it is stuck. An expression crosses his face which suggests that he has finally understood that it is he who is the shithead.
Here is what I consider to be good news: on Friday, via my answering machine, I was offered a part in "Helter Skelter: The Charles Manson Story", a documentary that will premiere on the History Channel early next year. The director evidently got his hands on my audition for the Casino documentary (010818) and saw something that he liked (my brown suit, perhaps). The shoot is in the middle of October. I don't know who I'm playing yet (1 Gerald Ford 2 Squeaky Fromme 3 Roman Polanski 4 Paul McCartney 5 cult member #4) and I don't know where the shoot is, but it will probably be the creepiest shit and I am very excited about it.
I want to spend more time writing for this webpage, but my current temp job - which runs through the end of this week - has me on eleven hour soul crushing shifts that are located nowhere near a computer or anything that makes me happy whatsoever. So, now is a bad time, but there will be better times ahead, because I'm sure as shit not going to re-up on this one. I'd like to get another Beelzetron-style desk plus computer minus work job (except not at Beelzetron), because I'd like to get back into this, but prospects for this week are not good.
There are probably people who read this now who weren't reading back in the day, so I will explain the reference: Beelzetron is where I worked right out of college, one year ago. It's in the archives. Crazy! What was it like to have money? I never wrote about that aspect of the job, so I have forgotten.