Written for and performed by the Potted Meat sketch comedy group:
December: Phone sketch. Monster sketch. February: Endorsing Gary. Tamagotchi sketch.
March: Strip Nights. April: Death of a Larry. The Message. Medication, to fill the hole.
September: Sound of One Girl Falling. Paranoia is a dish best served cold. Playing Hardball with Life.
October: Shut Up and Dance. Fuck. How Mothra Got His Groove Back.
December: The Almighty. An Important Message. Sweet Nothings. Victimless Crimes.
February: Thought Processes of Stupid People. The Kindness of Strangers. The Mongol Horde Cycle.
March: Sartre in Ennui.
April: The Chester A Arthur Variations. Homelessness Considered. Dead Man's Honey.
October: A Sweater Apart. Video Game Violence. Going Down. Circus Animals in Hell.
November: Breakfast is Served. A Real Nice Night. In the City.
December: One for the Kids. You So Crazy. 11:59. A Little Fall of Snow.
February: Blister. I don't know what to say.
March: No One Likes a Mr Grubby Thumbs. Alone and forsaken. My Ninja Baby. It is Wrong to Secede...
April: The Day after the Revolution. Something for the Weekend.
Written for the Players Workshop Grad Show (October):
Sketch for My Mother. Theory of Achievement. Under the Covers and Down Below.
Unsubmitted: Starting Over.
These were all produced at various locations over the last few years.
The B-Side Opera (4.00) The book and lyrics to a musical based on The Beggar's Opera by John Gay, with music composed by James Johnson. B-Side is the story of an American expatriate in cold-war Berlin and the criminal underworld; premiered in April 2000.
Monks in Trouble (2.99) The story of five monks who are stranded in a monastery that begins to disappear from around them. premiered in October 1999 accompanied by sets of music from Demoted to Hugs and Dave and Rachael from Very Secretary.
Suite for a Dead Cat (1.00) Premiered May 2000 as part of a festival of short plays called The Acme of Things.
A Boy and a Dog (1.00) (realaudio or text) (trailer) The hand of armaggeddon, the destroyer of worlds, the chilling face of evil: Phillip Berman was all these and more. Photographs remember him only as an innocent nine year-old boy, but radio theater reveals his true nature: that of a twisted, mad genius. This is the shocking story of how one boy (with an axe in his head) and one dog (who'd been to outer space) brought the entire world to its knees.
Image (1.99) (realaudio or text) Smashin' Glen Sampson is a World War II icon and hero to an entire nation. Placed into suspended animation after the war ended, he is awakened in our country's most desperate hour: a villain with the power to turn entire villages into zombies is threatening the United States. With strange doubts and flashes of another life running through his head, can Glen save the day once again?
These last five have, for various reasons, never been produced:
Conversations with the pig mask (1997) A series of vignettes that I wrote after seeing a disturbing pig mask.
For Entertainment Purposes Only (6.97) The first part of a trilogy I wrote with Rory Leahy.
A Handful of Sand (8.97) Part two of the aforementioned set, followed by:
Morality, Truth, and God (12.97) Part three, starring Charlton Heston.
Empty Spaces (2.97) The first one.
Odds and ends from web pages I've worked on.
I am the one true Vader.
Revenge of the wack MC.
Bike rides with Satan.
Now you're taken.
RADIOACTIVE MONSTERS OVER LONDON!
Interview: Paul Czarnowski.
All twelve officially released issues of an old-school online magazine - "tfile" - which was published intermittently between 1993 and 1995, during the end of the golden era of BBSes and the dawn of the web. It features some exceptional work from several people as well as the naked baby photos of my writing career. (They make me squirm now - a lot.) You can also find them (and many, many other tfiles) online at the amazing textfiles archive.
One - January 1994.......Regular features new Fear and Loathing in Cyberspace/Dystropia, DDT's, bus trips.
Two - February 1994...... Romance and Red Lights, Anatomy lessons, a guide to finer water fountains.
Three - March 1994......Lucid Death, Lampreys, Modem Chicks.
Four - April 1994.......Lucid Death II, a day in Bob's life, Jury Duty.
Five - May 1994.......Poetic Injustice, the enigmatic Comrade Slash, Mangoes Abroad.
Six - August 1994..........Standardized Tests, Magic [tm], Short Stories, Fear and Loathing/Dystropia crossover!
Seven - September 1994.....Daring Rescue Missions, Video Games, Talk Shows.
Eight - December 1994......The Black Plague, Poetry, the Fear and Loathing/Dystropia crossover conclusion.
Nine - January 1995.......A New Regime, Online Relationships, New Poets, Black Plague II.
One - February 1995.......Rancor, Stylus, Why the Media is Evil, House of Meats: A Morality Play.
Two - June 1995.......The Essence of Annoyance, More Poems and Short Stories, Chia Pets, the Danger of Success.
Back to I woke up in a strange place.