I have the idea in my head that repeatedly hitting 'reload' on the 'Order Status' web page will stress to the technicians that I really want my new computer and that it should be a priority for them. I tested my theory by writing a realistic play with searing dialogue in which it happens:
TECHNICIAN: No one cares about my computers. OTHER TECHNICIAN: God damn. TECHNICIAN: I make them, because I must, but I make them slowly. OTHER TECHNICIAN: In this cold and unfeeling world, what reason is there to make a computer quickly? TECHNICIAN: The processor will go in as soon as I have digested and subsequently shat this sandwich. OTHER TECHNICIAN: To reiterate, then: God damn.
The MONITOR JOCKEY enters, excited.
JOCKEY: Gentlemen! Why so sluggish! TECHNICIAN: We lack inspiration. JOCKEY: I will give you inspiration! Guess how many times this customer hit reload on his order status page? TECHNICIAN: Never? OTHER TECHNICIAN: Once? JOCKEY: Nay! TECHNICIAN: A few times? OTHER TECHNICIAN: Several? JOCKEY: Your guesses are both woefully inadequate! TECHNICIAN: How many, then? And, bear in mind, as men who are familiar with life on the 'streets', we are not susceptible to starry-eyed fantasies designed to pacify the middle classes in this age of declining religion. We may be of the lower classes, but we have an innate response to the truth, and there is wisdom to be found in our simplicity. JOCKEY: The answer is this: a lot! That is how many times he has checked his 'order status' page! TECHNICIAN: Over the course of many days? OTHER TECHNICIAN: Surely! JOCKEY: Nay! OTHER TECHNICIAN: Nay? JOCKEY: He has reached the plateau of 'a lot' in this day alone! TECHNICIAN: What manner of passion must course through his veins to fuel such intense reloading? OTHER TECHNICIAN: Significant passion, I would say! Passion and caring of a degree that would seem to defy our previous statements about the uncaring nature of our world! TECHNICIAN: I should make computers! OTHER TECHNICIAN: I will help! TECHNICIAN: And give up the booze! OTHER TECHNICIAN: But is booze not an inextricable part of our milieu? TECHNICIAN: This is a new world! We are healed of our social mores, cleansed by this passion! Let us realize our potential! Let us make computers to match this man! OTHER TECHNICIAN: God, I retract my previous off-hand requests for damnation! And, I submit this new request: God damn!
So, because I was able to write a realistic play with searing dialogue in which it happens, I figure it will happen soon. Some may say this is irresponsible application of the scientific method, but I would respond that those people can get fucked.
Let me also say, in an unrelated matter, that I am making a very serious effort to floss every day.